|parents:||okay we will be home at 11 o'clock!
|me:||they're dead i'm alone i need to start my orphan life now
It’s the way she casually picks up her heels after beating the shit out of everyone in the room.
I can never not reblog this scene. It’s my favourite thing.
|Homophobic Person:||My favorite food is pizza!
|Homosexual Person:||Cool! My favorite food is pasta!
|Bisexual Person:||I like both!
|Pansexual Person:||Hey guys, I don't have a favorite! I'll pretty much eat what tastes good to me.
|Asexual Person:||I like the way food looks and smells more than the way it tastes.
|Homophobic Person:||whAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU DISGUSTING PEOPLE WHY ISN'T PIZZA YOUR FAVORITE FOOD?!?! YOU'RE GOING TO HELL.
Pretty sure two cysts popped tonight.
Now I’m high on pain meds.
|Daddy:||what do you want for your birthday?
|Me:||no more dumb questions
|Daddy:||you're hard to shop for.
I wanna get married and have kids. I want to skip past all the stress and just be with the one I love.
I can’t wait to get married because its like a sleepover every night with your best friend.
(Source: thrillsurfer, via pizza)
My parents sense of humor make me want to commit murder.
my mom’s boyfriend was born on april 20 in 1969. his birthday is 4/20/69. there is literally no better day to be born.
It'll be over soon it's just one day. I know I live every year dreading X-mas with my family xP (I live in the dorms so I have to go home for all of winter break and then at the end BIG family gathering its horrid) but like I said it'll be over soon.
I know it will be. I live close enough to my hometown that I only have to go for day trips. But it’s so awful. They all try acting like they care for one day then I don’t hear from them for months on end. It’s bullshit. If I could go without it. I would.
Ugh. They started asking questions.
Make it stoppppppppp.